—via my college friend Aaron’s Facebook page
Musing
As time passes and days grow more tiring
a person looks back on their life
they reminisce and remember
of times that were easy or fun
They don’t think of the now
They don’t think of the future
Why, as young people do we
always look ahead
but yet as we get older
we always look behind?
Does regret and pain
always hold that much power?
Why can’t we as adults
look forward to what the future holds?
We could have been this,
We could have been that,
Could have,
Should have,
Would have….
Ah, those worlds that are so simple
but mean so much.
“Youth is wasted on the young”…
No statement has ever been so true,
but, yet, why?
Why can’t adults be youthful?
Why can’t grown people
frolic and be childlike?
Guess what people….
we can…
we can be childlike,
we can frolic and dance
hither and fro
like we have no care in the world.
Unloosen the tie,
untie that scarf,
walk up to a young person
and shout, at the top of your lungs,
“YOU DON’T RUN THIS MUTHAFUCKER”…
watch the reaction…
and you will realize that
that young person believes you,
you will see that they are scared
because they know
you have accomplished something
that is still just a dream to them….
You have lived….
and because of that single reason…
celebrate.
Warrior
I just watched the movie “Warrior”….I must say, I have NEVER reacted more emotionally to a movie. Forget the MMA aspect of it, pay attention to the human side of it. I think it might have replaced “Gladiator” as my favorite movie of all time. The casino scene, I hope that my children NEVER say this to me. MJ if you are reading this, watch the movie and you will see what I am talking about. I miss both of my kids…so much! But there is nothing I can do about it. My past continues to haunt me, no matter how hard I try to shake it.
This moment
Just stop enough of the limitless critical comments on my life
Just drop the judgment and all of your pseudo-involvement in my life
Step back a moment, and look at the miracle starting in our life
Don’t stop the moment, and let the incredible happen knowing that
All that you want is to criticize
Something for nothing
And all that I want is forgiveness one more time
To be the best in the world
Just stop with all of your little deliberate problems with my life
Enough of all the crippling, terrible pain we feel inside
Step back a moment, remember how the miracle started in our life
Take back the torment; I won’t be enjoying this moment knowing that
All that you want is to criticize
Something for nothing
And all that I want is forgiveness one more time
I know that
All that we want is to feel inside
Some kind of comfort
And all that we’ve done
We can hide
We’ll be the best in the world
All I ever wanted was to be a real source of compassion
From the moment that we found ourselves drowning in
All I ever wanted was to be a real source of compassion
From the moment that we found ourselves drowning in
All that you want is to criticize
Something for nothing
And all that I want is forgiveness one more time
I know that
All that we want is to feel inside
Some kind of comfort
And all that we’ve done
We can hide
We’ll be the best in the world
We’ll be the best in the world
Just stop enough of the limitless critical comments on my life
Just drop the judgment and all of your pseudo-involvement in my life
Just drop the judgment and all of your pseudo-involvement in my life
Step back a moment, and look at the miracle starting in our life
Don’t stop the moment, and let the incredible happen knowing that
All that you want is to criticize
Something for nothing
And all that I want is forgiveness one more time
To be the best in the world
Just stop with all of your little deliberate problems with my life
Enough of all the crippling, terrible pain we feel inside
Step back a moment, remember how the miracle started in our life
Take back the torment; I won’t be enjoying this moment knowing that
All that you want is to criticize
Something for nothing
And all that I want is forgiveness one more time
I know that
All that we want is to feel inside
Some kind of comfort
And all that we’ve done
We can hide
We’ll be the best in the world
All I ever wanted was to be a real source of compassion
From the moment that we found ourselves drowning in
All I ever wanted was to be a real source of compassion
From the moment that we found ourselves drowning in
All that you want is to criticize
Something for nothing
And all that I want is forgiveness one more time
I know that
All that we want is to feel inside
Some kind of comfort
And all that we’ve done
We can hide
We’ll be the best in the world
We’ll be the best in the world
Just stop enough of the limitless critical comments on my life
Just drop the judgment and all of your pseudo-involvement in my life
Exactly how I feel right now
“I was born when she kissed me. I died when she left me. I lived a few weeks while she loved me.”
Oh my…if only people knew!
I don’t want a future, I want a present. To me this appears of greater value. You have a future only when you have no present, and when you have a present, you forget to even think about the future.
“
| — | Robert Walser, The Tanners (via suzywire) |
What was and never will be…(cont)
…The downward spiral
The friendship “accept”
The television calls
The weekend at my parents
The doubting of what’s happening
The disappearance
The rescue and the shady trees
The smell of sex and cigarettes
The “adventure” in Florida
The “adjustments”
The 2+1
The eviction
Hell
The “fun” times
The marriage
The Army
The lying
The betrayal
The begging to be a wife
The drunk calls
The hard proof
The coming home
The disappointment
The willingness to fight on
The hurt
The inability to change
The runaway
The .014
The shattered heart
The final realization, “It’s not going to happen”
The insanity
The picking up the pieces
…to be continued
Liam
Liam is the man
He is everything good in this world
And everything good about me
(Even though some people would say, that ain’t much)
He’s my drive, my initiative, my hope for a better future
He is perfect in every sense
He looks at me and I can see paradise
I can see reasoning
I can see love
He will be the things I wasn’t
He will NOT be the things I was
He will know right, wrong and that the world is not black and white, but a whole mess of grey
He will have everything I have…plus
Liam is the man
Liam is my son
